Wingnuts On Parade

Last week's teaser went down in flames because the Texans didn't get the memo. For the season, I am now 54-57, +11.7 units. Here's five picks to close the regular season.

Miami at New England under 47 points total

Indianapolis +7 vs. Houston, and over 46.5 points total

New Orleans -4.5 vs. Carolina

Denver -16 vs. Kansas City

Last week's round-robin teasers were 1-5, but only cost me 0.5 units.  For the season, I am 54-56, +12.7 units.  Pulling in the horns this week, with only one four-team, six-point teaser.  If all these picks hit, we win three units, but if any of them lose, we only lose one unit.  Here we go!

Carolina -2.5 vs. Oakland

Baltimore +8.5 vs. New York Giants

Houston -1.5 vs. Minnesota

San Diego +8.5 at New York Jets

My picks went 5-3, +1.7 units last week.  My season record is now 53-51, +13.2 units.  This week, we are going crazy on the teasers, making no straight picks whatsoever.  You have to be flexible.  There are six games, and we are taking all six possible five-team combinations.  These five-team, six-point teasers pay 4.5 to 1.  If we hit them all, it's a 27-unit tsunami of winning. If we go 5-1, we'll lose 1.5 units.  If we go 4-2 or worse, we lose all six units.  It's not for the faint of heart.  Here we go!

Chicago +8.5 vs. Green Bay

New York Giants +7.5 at Atlanta

Minnesota +8.5 at St. Louis

Miami -1.5 vs. Jacksonville

Dallas +8 vs. Pittsburgh

New York Jets +7.5 at Tennessee

BIG performance last week.  On the strength of a clean sweep on my teasers, my picks were 7-3, +6.9 units for the week.  My season record now stands at 48-48, +11.5 units.  No teasers this week, as I have enough at risk with my straight picks.  Let's do this!

Cleveland -6.5 vs. Kansas City:  The Chiefs made a huge effort in the face of tragedy last week, and won at home.  Now the reality that they still suck has set in, and I'm not expecting much from them on the road.  You shouldn't either.

Tampa Bay -7.5 vs. Philadelphia:  The Bucs still have a playoff dream to pursue, while the Eagles are the football equivalent of that ski jumper in the ABC's Wide World of Sports into.  I suppose that dates me a bit.

Cincinnati -3 vs. Dallas:  This Bengals team is underrated.  This Cowboys team is, it seems, perennially overrated.  Both of those misperceptions could get fixed on Sunday.

New Orleans at New York Giants over 53 points:  It's a big number, sure.  This should be a track meet, however, as the Saints cannot run with the Giants' receivers, and the Giants' vaunted pass rush never lays a glove on Drew Brees.

Seattle -10 vs. Arizona:  Not a big fan of laying this many points, but Arizona will struggle to score at all, and Seattle is a different animal at home.

Green Bay -6.5 vs. Detroit:  The Packers haven't done anything easy since laying waste to the Texans eight weeks ago.  Injuries have made the Lions' offense less lethal than last year.  I do think they will get enough against the nicked-up Green Bay defense to make the over 49 points total a play as well.

New England -3.5 vs. Houston:  Don't get me wrong, either team could win this game.  I am leaning towards the home team with vast big-game experience.  Also, the Texans' defensive secondary is ravaged by injury, leaving them ripe for picking by Perfect Tommy and the Pats offense.